Here are 53 things I have learned in My Life

1. My wife is my best friend.
2. Giving blood is not as easy as it was 20 years ago.
3. Having a tooth pulled is more painful than it was 20 years ago.
4. Now that I am older I have to take that little blue pill…for my blood pressure (shame on you!)
5. I still haven’t found evidence for the existence of UFOs.
6. I like listening to albums on my old record player more than I like listening to CDs.
7. Spending $20.00 on a CD by your favorite group (because it is almost impossible to find the album) is almost always better than spending $200.00 on a ticket to see them in concert. Almost.
8. Sometimes the movie is better than the book.
9. My parents were right, most of the time.
10. Being married more than once doesn’t make me a bad person.
11. You still worry about your kids even after they become adults.
12. It’s never too late to start over…again.
13. You can forgive, but never forget.
14. My longest held job has been with MCMLS. Going on year 9 in January.
15. I still think existentially even if it isn’t logical.
16. Sometimes I’m not as funny as I think people think I am.
17. Telling someone to “have a nice day” is still nice.
18. Chocolate is overrated.
19. It is possible to move your fingers after you break your wrist.
20. A college degree is not a sign of higher intelligence.
21. You can judge a book by its cover.
22. Constantly regretting your past mistakes is like watching bad television reruns.
23. The Dollar Store is still the best place to shop.
24. Giving someone a CD suncatcher makes them happy. Even if they don’t admit it.
25. I refuse to go to another high school reunion (class of ’72). Ever!
26. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
27. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

(Okay, so the last two aren’t original. Sue me.)

28. Giving someone a Christmas card for their birthday is memorable.
29. There is no shame in collecting fast food toys.
30. If something is worth doing it is worth overdoing.
31. There has only been one James Bond.
32. Life is too short for moderation.
33. I can repair a toilet and replace a kitchen faucet.
34. I can’t fix my car.
35. I can shop at Wal-Mart without using a basket.
36. You can use a straw to suck the water out of a watermelon.
37. Sometimes it pays to listen to the little voices in my head.
38. If I don’t read all the “Harry Potter” books or the “Left Behind” books it’s okay.
39. My poetry will probably never get published in a book.

http://www.poetrymagazine.com/archives/2001/February01/mckee.htm

40. Watering just one plant regularly makes the world a better place.
41. Sometimes the best advice comes from a bumper sticker.
42. Having an obedient goldfish is better than a disobedient puppy.
43. Sometimes I really can just keep my mouth shut.
44. My new flash drive will last longer than my old floppy.
45. I learn more from reading the supermarket tabloids than from watching CNN.
46. I like my ruts but can adjust to the detours if I have to.
47. TV is addicting and I don’t want to be cured.
48. Sylvia Browne can’t predict my future.
49. I still put quarters in vending machines just to get the toy.
50. My mood ring is usually pretty accurate.
51. I don’t know everything; I’m not the center of the universe.
52. God always forgives me, but I need to forgive myself…daily.

And last, but not least…

53. I made it to another birthday.